Moo Yah Treats
Handcrafted Fudge
Fudge Handcrafted with Prayer
Special Session 14: The Marvin Matter
Recorded by order of the Garden Council
The meeting was called to order at precisely 7:13 a.m., after several tomatoes reported suspicious behavior in the east garden.
Mrs. Clover of the Clover Cooperative
adjusted her spectacles and addressed the council.
"I regret to inform everyone that Marvin has done it again."
A collective sigh rolled through the vegetables.
The carrots lowered their tops.
Even the onions looked exhausted.
"What now?" asked Harold the Horseradish.
Mrs. Clover unfolded a tiny sheet of leaf parchment.
"It appears Marvin has spent the last three days holding
motivational seminars for the dandelions."
Gasps echoed throughout the garden.
"He told them..."
She paused dramatically.
"...that lawns were merely a social construct."
Several blades of grass fainted.
"The dandelions have now declared themselves..."
Another pause.
"...The Free Botanical Republic of Independent Flowers."
Silence.
Finally one elderly potato whispered,"I knew this day would come."
Meanwhile...
Marvin stood proudly atop an overturned watering can
wearing a cape fashioned from rhubarb leaves.
"My fellow misunderstood vegetation!"
he shouted.
"They call us weeds because they fear our freedom!"
Wild cheering erupted from approximately forty-seven dandelions.
One particularly enthusiastic thistle yelled,
"DOWN WITH MOWING!"
The bees looked uncomfortable.
Word eventually reached Madame Steward.
She calmly set down her coffee.
Finished buttering her toast.
Walked into the garden.
Looked at Marvin.
Looked at the dandelions.
Looked back at Marvin.
She sighed the sigh of someone who had dealt with Marvin before.
"Marvin."
"Yes, Morsel Wrangler?"
"What exactly are you doing?"
"I'm liberating botanical expression."
"I see.""And the cape?"
"It inspires confidence."
"Of course it does."
After several minutes of careful negotiation...
...and one exceedingly patient explanation about ecosystems...
...Morsel Wrangler thanked Marvin for his enthusiasm...
...commended him for encouraging independent thought...
...then promptly picked him up...
marched to Flathead Lake... and...
YEETED him with remarkable accuracy.
Witnesses report Marvin could be heard shouting...
"LONG LIVE THE STRAWBERRY REVOLUTIOOOOOON..."
until the splash.
Peace returned to the garden shortly thereafter.
The dandelions agreed to resume being merely inconvenient.
The bees got back to work.
The grass recovered emotionally.
And Marvin...
Well...
Everyone knows Marvin.
He was back by Tuesday with another idea.
Editor's Note: The Garden Council unanimously agreed that Marvin's creativity is to be
encouraged......at a safe distance.
🍓